Savior
by AntarcticaLovesPenguins
Summary: Teen!HRE/Italy Romischen has a not-so-good life. Feliciano is tired of normal things. They meet, and then shit hits the fan. Will Roma come out of it with his heart intact? Will Feliciano ever be able to look at life the same way ever again? Inspired by Savior by Rise Against
1. Welcome to my Life

It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten what the colors of her eyes were, and her scars and how she got them.

I close my eyes and look across my backyard. It's been years since I saw her, and I miss her more each day.

My name is Romischen Beillshmidt, and this is my life.

I wake up every day, and my head hurts.

I take my razor, and I cut until my hands shake.

I bandage and clean the areas- where they are depends on what I wear that day. Usually it's my wrists, but occasionally I go to town on my inner thighs and ankles.

I eat a small breakfast, and then I grab my bag.

I leave the house knowing that no-one there cares whether I get to school alright.

I get to the campus, and I ignore the others. If I say nothing, will they leave me alone?

I get to my locker, I shove some things inside, I get some things out, and then I head to that special place.

It's upstairs, in a little corner with bad lighting and a faint smell of marijuana. It's dirty, out of the way, and I love it. I can be alone there. Well, until the druggies show up. Then I leave. I may be an outcast, but I'm not about to ruin my life.

And then I go to class. I sit down in the back, I take notes while pretending I don't care, I keep my head low and out of the way. I never get called on.

I repeat the steps through the rest of my classes. Instead of lunch, I hide in the library and do homework.

When I walk in, the librarian gives me a dirty look. This is her place and I'm intruding. She doesn't want me here. Not with my 'silly' hat. Not with my big blue hoodie. Not with my messy blonde hair. Not with my glasses, the ones that Luddy got me two years ago. I'm not welcome, but she's got nothing against me to stop me from coming in.

After lunch, I head to class. I do the same things.

When school is over, I head to my job. It's at that little French café, the one my brother's friend owns.

I go inside, I mumble a 'hi' at Francis, and I head to the back. I remove my hoodie and I tie the apron on at my waist. I clip the little name tag onto my Die Atzen t-shirt, and I get to work.

I'm a waiter. I talk to people, they notice my German accent, I nod and smile politely. It's an International café, and it's honestly the most popular one. But that might be because Francis is young and French and cool and doesn't tell if you get wine when you're underage. He has a son, a French-Canadian named Matthew, and an ex-husband who has an American son named Alfred, and they both go to my school. Mattie's okay, I guess, but he has no presence.

After I work for a few blissful hours, I say goodbye and walk home. I have tons of homework, but can deal with it after.

I get in, I gag at the smell of beer, and head to the kitchen. If I'm lucky, Dad's not there. Today he isn't. He's in the living room, watching German porn.

I make a tiny dinner as quietly as I can, and head upstairs. I go to my room and eat while listening to my iPod, the one that Gil got me for my birthday three Christmas' ago, and do homework.

I try to be as quiet as possible. I know that Gil and Luddy can't wait for my 18th birthday- next year in July. That's when they can get me out of this hellhole.

I'm a junior this year. Two years left in _that_ hellhole.

It's October. Here in Florida, it's just now getting chilly. Not as cold as my home country, but still cold.

I was born in Germany. We moved to Austria when I was 6, and moved to America when I was 9. My dad became an alcoholic when I was 11. I'm 17 now, and it's all become routine. Monotone. Monochrome.

After I finish homework and eating, I creep downstairs and put my plate in the dirty sink.

My dad has changed to futball. He's screaming at the television, and I have to admit. I'm scared when he gets like this.

I pause for just a moment in the doorway of the kitchen, and a hand flutters up to my side, where the discolored skin is. It still hurts.

I turn and go back up the stairs. I avoid all of the creaky steps. If I make one bad move, I'm done.

No questions asked.

I make it all the way upstairs before slowly closing the door. I catch sight of myself in the mirror across from my door. My dark blue eyes are tired, with deep shadows beneath them. My hair is messy, and my lips are swollen. I raise a hand to my cheeks to find that they are wet. When did I start crying?

I close my eyes and slide to the floor, leaning against the door. This is my life.

/So~ How was it? Thank "Savior" by Rise Against for the plot bunny. I know I haven't updated the other stories in FOR-FUCKING-EVER, but….. Yeah. So, this should have another chapter soon~


	2. Introducing, drumroll please, Feliciano!

I am sitting in my kitchen, watching Nonno Julius (Roman Empire) cook breakfast. We just moved here, to America, from Rome. Fratello walks downstairs, and I glance up at him. I smile and jump, throwing my arms around his neck. "Ve~" I yell 'happily'. I'm not happy though.

Don't make me laugh.

My name is Feliciano Vargas, and don't bother me. I'm in the middle of sulking.

After Nonno makes crepe, and after I finish eating, I grab my backpack- the new, cute one from that one store that fratello really likes.

It's my first day here, and I glance in a mirror before leaving the house. Perfect red-brown hair, large hazel eyes, l'italia t shirt, black skinny jeans, white scarf, and l'italia converse.

I deem my outfit perfect, and leave.

I'm a junior, so I already have a car. I drive it to school, check my reflection one more time, and get out. I head immediately to the main office, get my schedule and then turn and look around. There's a hallway that looks right, so I follow it. I don't see anyone around, so I allow my face to turn into its natural scowl.

I explore. I find all of my classes, my locker, and then I find a desolate little corner. I walk into it. It's dark. It's musty. It's dirty. It's perfect. I hear some footsteps behind me, and I turn.

There's a mess standing there.

A beautiful mess.

He has messy dark blonde hair, and it looks like he just crawled out of bed. He has glasses, and behind them are two of the most beautiful dark blue eyes I've ever seen. He's wearing a big blue hoodie, skinny jeans, and I can see a bit of a bandage peeking out from under his jacket. He has dark hollows under his eyes, like he hadn't slept properly in months, and I can see some of a scar coming out from the top of his hoodie and going up his neck. It's mostly covered by his hair, but I can still see it. He has light skin. His red lips are swollen-looking and in a surprised 'o' shape.

"Cia-"before I can even finish the word, he's gone and run as fast as he can away. By the time I have the sense to look around the corner for him, he's gone.

I shrug and continue exploring the school. Maybe I'll run into him again.

After I've seen the entire school, twice, the bell rings. I head into that first class, say 'ciao~' to the teacher, and then sit down in the middle near a window.

When the other students file in, they all seem excited to see me. A new student? Who is he? He's so pretty! I can hear it all, and I soak up their praise. Vanity is my sin and this is my habitat.

I don't see him come in until he's at his seat.

The guy from earlier.

The seats are arranged in groups, so I keep my eye on him.

During attendance, I discover that his name is Romischen Beillshmidt.

Romischen kept his head low the entire class, but I could tell that he kept dutiful notes.

I missed a question because I was watching him, and didn't hear the answer. The class giggles, and I blush from 'embarrassment'.

After that class is over, I try to go to him, but he leaves quickly and I get mobbed.

They all like me so much, they're glad to meet me, I'm so cool, where did I say I was from again, the comments don't end.

I lose sight of him- Romischen, in the crowded hallway.

I go to my next class, and the one after that. He isn't there, but each class is a carbon copy of the next.

I don't feel like dealing with the oh-my-god-where-do-I-sit rush, so I head up to the library.

I give the librarian a charmed smile, and she giggles, flattered. Dirty old cougar.

I turn to choose a seat in the empty library, and I see that beautiful messy blonde sitting in the corner.

He's all alone, and he has a bunch of papers spread in front of him.

I flounce over and deliberately take a seat right next to him.

He glances up, blushes, and then looks back down.

"Ciao~ I do believe we met this morning?" I whisper.

He glances over his shoulder at the librarian, and then turns around. I notice her glaring at him.

"Uhm.. Ja…." He whispers back. His voice is sexy. It has a heavy, but not overpowering German accent. I could listen to him talk all day.

"My name is Feliciano- What's yours?"

He looks back up at me. "R-romischen… Call me Roma, if you wan' to…" he mumbles.

I almost squeal at his shyness. I love it when shy people are all shy and awkward and stuff!"

"It's nice to meet you ve~" I managed to keep my flamboyance out of my voice- but only barely.

Roma nodded and continued with his homework. I glanced at it. He was actually pretty smart… Meanwhile, I'd deemed school 'boring' and 'not worth it' months ago.

"Hey… You're pretty smart ve…" I said, pointing at his papers. "Tutor me please?" I looked at him with my best puppy dog eyes. I didn't actually want to be tutored- I wanted to get close to him. And then I wanted to take his clothes off. And then I wanted to taste his entire body, take his-

'STOPTHINKINGABOUTTHAT!' my brain screams at me.

"Um…" Roma looks between his homework, and me.

I intensify my puppy dog eyes sevenfold.

He sighs. "Alright… When do you want me to start?"

I squeal and throw my arms around him in a hug.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou~" I yelp happily. The librarian giggles. Dirty old cougar.

I kiss his cheek, and he slowly peels me off.

"I have to work tonight so… When and where would be good?"

My house isn't unpacked yet. "How about your place? I just moved here from Rome…" I trail off, expecting him to fawn over my foreignism.

Instead, he turns pale and laughs nervously. "U-uh, how about cafés internationaux? I work there after school…"

I nod. Inside my head I squeal again. I have a kind-of date!"

/Yes, yes, I know. Italy is and will be a complete ass in this story. But that's okay. xD Read and review to send love to my other stories?


	3. Why me?

I was in the library when it happened.

That really cute guy, the one who looks just like HER, came up to me and sat down.

He started talking about who he was, how he was SO glad to have met me, and then begged me to tutor him.

He was kind of annoying.

But I gave in.

Then he asked to study at my house.

I covered, and then we decided upon Francis' café.

After school, I immediately headed there.

"Salut~" Francis greets. Just this once, I stop. "Francis- Is it alright if I tutor this guy from my class here? I can't go anywhe-"

Francis cut me off with a finger on my lips. "Oui. Just tell me. Is he cute? Do you like him?" I roll my eyes and continue walking back to the employee room. When I came back out, I saw Feliciano 've~'ing with Francis.

I rolled his eyes and went up to them. "I have to work, but I'll do my best to tutor you- Thursdays are always the slowest."

I went and quickly took the order of an elderly couple, gave the order to Toni, today's cook, and went back to Feliciano.

"So, what do you need tutoring in?" I asked.

Feliciano looked down at his new binder. "Uh… Everything…" He looked back up shyly.

I sighed and sat down, running a hand through my messy hair. "Alright, let's start by going through each period. So we start with… Algebra 2 honors?" I looked back up. If Feliciano really needed help, then why would he be in the 'honors' course?

"I know ve~… Why am I in honors, right? My nonno forced me into it." Feliciano looked down sadly.

"It's... um, alright. Okay, we're in the middle of graphing systems of inequalities right now. You need help with that one, right?"

Feliciano nodded. "Si."

"Okay, First you…" And then I started tutoring him.

Hours later, I'd finally gotten Feliciano through… drumroll please,

2 subjects!

I bit my lip, looking up at the clock. Francis had walked over and informed us that the café was closing for the evening.

"Scheisse!" I groaned. How was I supposed to avoid vati now?

"Look- I'm sorry, but I can't stay this late again. I had a great time- but I have to go!"

I ran to the back, yanked the nametag and apron off, pulled on my hoodie, and ran back out.

I didn't stop running until I got to the not-really-safety of my front porch.

I go inside, knowing that it's too late. He's too drunk. He'll hear me. He'll hurt me.

He is there this time. He turns, red-eyed and holding a beer bottle.

Almost before I get the door closed, he's on me.

Yanking my hair, punching my stomach and kicking me, slapping me and clawing me.

His shaky hands flick out a pocket knife.

There's no way for me to stop it.

I'm too weak to defend myself.

I'm too numb to cry.

I'm too stunned to scream.

IthurtsIthurtsIthurtsWhywon'thestop?

Whyme?

Whyme?

Whyme?

It's all that I can think.

Whyme?

/*waddles away* All the feels…


	4. Meeting Roma's dad! Or not?

I was proud of myself. Cute messy blonde guy was actually intelligent. Shy, and reserved, but intelligent.

I wonder how much of a slut he'll be when I'm through with him.

I smirk to myself as I get into my car and drive home. At home, I had a bit of a reputation.

I sleep around. A lot. But I have a method. I do any new ones randomly, but then I'll have a 'project'.

I can tell. Roma is my project. My newest sin, my newest pet. I want him eating out of the palm of my hand by the time I'm done with him.

The next day, at school, I'm all ready to put moves on him.

But he's not there.

I ask around, I promise to deliver homework to his house, and then, hours later, I'm there. In front of it.

The house looks kind of awkward. Not really somewhere that you'd jump at the chance to live in.

I go up to the porch and knock on the door. A greasy man with long blonde hair and blue eyes answers. He's rude and angry and he smells like disgusting things.

I force a smile. "Ciao~ I'm from Roma's school! He didn't come today, so I brought him homework. Is it alright if I go up and see him?"

He glares at me. Without a word, he slams the door.

I blink at the closed door in my face. What exactly just happened?

/Ack. So short D':


	5. All the feels, in just 200 words!

I couldn't go to school that next day. I was in too much pain.

Every part of me hurt.

I couldn't even get up.

After school ended, I heard a car pull up, the door open, the door close, and then footsteps stomp up the stairs.

I close my eyes and whimper to myself.

"Your gay-ass friend just showed up" Vati sneers.

I open my eyes. "Who?" I murmur.

Vati laughs. "Some Italian kid. What is he- your boyfriend?" He advances towards me and grabs my wrist. Vati drags me up, ignoring my pain-filled yelp.

"Answer me!" he yells, cruel smirk gone.

"N-no sir!" I yell. He grabs my hair, and yanks it.

"Don't lie to me, Sohn!" Tears stream done my face. My legs wobble, and I fall. His grip on my hair and wrist prevents me from falling all the way though. He tosses me onto the bed.

"You'll never amount to anything." He jeers before leaving my room.

I pull my covers up around me and just cry.

A year is too long. If I don't get out of here soon, I won't be able to get out at all.

/All the feels… all the feels…


	6. In which things happen fast

The next day, I'm just as worried for Roma as I was yesterday, if not more. Was that his dad? That dirty, drunken, greasy man?

In first period, I nodded distractedly as my fans fawned over me. Why couldn't they just leave me alone? For once, I found myself ungrateful of the attention I always sought.

When my messy blonde tutor walked in, I rushed over to him.

"Ve~ Roma, I didn't see you yesterday, what happened? I went by your house to give you your work, but the man at the door wouldn't let me..."

He kept his head down, and sat at his desk. I went back to my desk and grabbed my things, then came back and sat at the desk next to him.

"Roma… What's wrong?"

He mumbled something incomprehensible to non-German speaking peoples, such as myself, and laid his head down on the desk.

I noticed that his hands were bandaged and, when his sleeve peeked up, I noticed suspiciously-shaped bruises.

"Roma, what happened to you?"

He looks up. I gasp in shock. He looks horrible.

He has a black eye, and his bottom lip is cut. He has cuts and scratches and bruises covering his face, and they only get worse on his neck. He has a cut on his eyebrow, cheek, and down the side of his neck. Roma's hair seems more wild and untamed than normal, and I notice that the right lens of his glasses is cracked.

I reach for him, and he flinches away. I keep going, and rest the tips of my fingers tenderly against his cheek. I feel weird… What is this?

Then I know. It's a flicker of compassion.

I have to physically force myself not to giggle. I bite my hand, and can't stop staring into his eyes.

My teeth break the skin, and he reaches over.

I bite down harder, and my gaze shifts to his neck. To his formally pale neck. I see large oval-shaped dark marks, the exact shape of fingers.

His fingers touch my hand, and I jerk away, my teeth sinking in harder. Sometime during our encounter, the lights had dimmed and Ms. Veronique has started teaching.

He takes my wrist into his hand, and I can feel the scratchiness of his bandages. Blood trickles out of my teeth-marks, then faster as I dig them in harder.

It tastes salty, like copper.

I can't stop staring at the bruises, or the cuts. My gaze lifts up to meet Roma's and I realize that he is worried. About me. I bite down even harder to keep from laughing.

He's worried about me? I feel helpless though. Who had made those marks? Those cuts?

"Stop…" Roma whispers, trying to pull my bleeding hand out of my mouth. I blink, and let him. Blood trickles down my chin, and I stare at him.

Roma wipes the blood off of my face, and raises his hand.

When the teacher calls on him, he asks to take me to go see the nurse, Ms. Katyusha. She says yes, and we leave.

"Why did you bite your hand?" he asks me after I stop by a trashcan to spit the blood out.

It didn't necessarily taste bad, but I didn't exactly want to swallow it either.

I shrug. "I didn't want to cause a scene ve~ And.. Who caused those?"

Roma looked away. "May I not say?"

I sigh. "Si, but it might help you if you said who."

I can't understand myself right now. Why am I being so warm to him? I understand that he is in a bad situation, but usually I'm not warm to anyone.

I pretend, but when I get bored I throw them away.

This feels different. Real.

I find myself wanting this, whatever it is.

"Fine… It was my dad." I stopped walking. He hadn't just said what I thought he had, right?

"What?" I hiss.

I find myself remembering that man.

Greasy, long blonde hair. Piercing blue eyes. Dark hollows under his eyes. Dirty clothing. Bruised knuckles. And the stench of alcohol and smoke covering him completely.

Roma yelps and back up. "I-I said it was my dad." He whimpers.

I walk up to him and hug him tightly. "It's alright." I say. Then I pull away. "Now let's get these stitched up and those taken care of." I smile. We go inside and let the nurses fawn over us.

After that, we go up to the library and study together.

I don't know why, but somehow, someone has finally shattered my wall of ice.

And now I feel warm.

I just hope that my warm, messy, blonde doesn't get taken away, leaving me to freeze again.

/Yesh, it's weird and kinda OOC for how Ita-chan started out, but atleast it's longer. This story is moving waaaay too fast for my liking though… This was supposed to happen in, like, chapter 10 or something like that. I fail as an author.


End file.
